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Featured this Month:

From the Desk of Father Rubey
Tuesday, December 26, 2017 by From the Desk of Father Rubey
In January, we begin a New Year and many of us have New Year’s resolutions such as losing weight, getting more exercise or doing something positive to improve our lives such as being more understanding towards our loved ones. Former Vice President Joe Biden recently came out with a memoir detailing events in his life and what he learned from the tragedies.
Empty Space
Tuesday, December 26, 2017 by Cynthia Waderlow MSE, LCSW
After a spouse’s suicide surviving parents may look into the rooms of their home and see remnants of a family life that is upside down. As a family begins to acclimate to the disorder posed by the beginning of the grief journey, it might be useful to realize that a world where meaningful structure has been disabled by a traumatic loss adds an element of strangeness in familiar spaces.

Archives:

Attachments and Imprints
Friday, January 01, 2016 by by Cynthia Waderlow, MSE, LCSW
When a child begins life, its first developmental task is to attach to the caregiver.   There is no “other” as it is cradled and fed, only the cries for connection when separation is experienced.  And for the parent, the boundary between self and child seems mysteriously non-existent for a while. As the child matures and is compelled to explore the world, distancing is exciting, but also uncomfortable enough that the child looks backward often to balance the stimulation with a sense of security.  The parent, too, is attentive, even vigilant, as the young child pushes toward gradual independence.  Most caregivers will recall some anxiety as they observed this process in the small being that introduced them to the profound experience of bonding.  Most of us learn to attach and to support our loved ones’ independence without a great sense of disruption.  As we become more secure adults, we learn to give space for self-determination to those we care about.  When we carry the attached relationships within us, the connections become flexible and don’t suffer whether our loved ones are close by or in another country. Even with distance, the attachments are not disrupted.

From the desk of Father Rubey
Tuesday, December 01, 2015 by Father Rubey
In December, most of us celebrate holiday events of different religious traditions. The season can stir up a lot of feelings for survivors of a suicide. The season can be very painful for grieving people because there is gaiety and celebration all around us. Grieving people are in no mood to celebrate and would like the holiday season to be stricken from the calendar. That is not going to happen any time soon – if ever. Grieving survivors wonder if they will ever be happy again or feel like living again.